Week Sixteen Picks
Sixteen weeks into the 2013 season and I still have absolutely no idea what’s going on. What can you do? Here’s what not to expect.
Miami (-3) at Buffalo
You know, I was initially inclined to say I expected Miami to qualify for the post-season (for the first time since 2008) with a win here and another at home against the Jets next week. Then I started thinking about sacks. Buffalo’s defense leads the league with 49. And Ryan Tannehill comes in as the NFL‘s most sacked QB at 51. That’s not a great combination. And although it didn’t play much of a role when the teams met in Miami back in week seven, the Bills still managed to come away with a 23-21 victory. So you know what? I think I’ll take the Bills. By three this time.
New Orleans (+3) at Carolina
The good news for the Saints, I suppose, is that after this they won’t have to play another road game in the regular season. That’s when they’ll travel to Philadelphia to lose to the Eagles in the Wild Card round. Pass Interferences by a touchdown.
Dallas (-3) at Washington
If the Cowboys can’t beat the Racists, they don’t belong in the playoffs. Then again, even if the Cowboys can beat the Racists, they don’t belong in the playoffs. And that gets us all of nowhere, doesn’t it? Still, I’m taking Dallas. By six.
Tampa Bay (+4.5) at St. Louis
In an evenly matched game, you take the home team. So that’s what I’m doing. Straight up, anyhow. Rams by a field goal.
Cleveland (+2) at NY Jets
The great thing about weeks 16 and 17 in the NFL is that there are usually lots of games that matter. The lousy thing is that there are always a few that … well, don’t. The Browns are probably slightly less awful — and although the Jets are decidedly less on the road, I’m going to go with the less awful squad in the upset. Cleveland by four.
Indianapolis (+6.5) at Kansas City
Given that these two teams are almost certain to meet again in Indianapolis two weeks from now, I don’t expect the Chiefs will want to show everything they’ve got. Even then, though, the Chiefs are simply a better team than the Colts. Kansas City by six.
Minnesota (+8) at Cincinnati
The Bengals have way too much on the line to lose at home to a sub-standard team like the Vikings. I expect them to get out to an early lead and never look back.
Denver (-10.5) at Houston
The Broncos need to win out to ensure themselves of an AFC West title and the conference one seed. Fortunately for them, they’ve got the Texans and the Raiders. So it’ll be the divisional round before the Broncos lose again. Denver by 17.
Tennessee (-5) at Jacksonville
In which the Jaguars resume their late push to move into a slightly less expensive part of the 2014 draft. Jacksonville by four.
Arizona (+10.5) at Seattle
It was all bound to fall apart for the Cardinals at some point. Seattle sews up the NFC one seed with a victory that’s more impressive than the seven-point margin.
NY Giants (+9) at Detroit
Things are pretty grim for the Lions, but not nearly so grim that I expect them to fall to the truly inept Giants. The only question here, to my mind, is whether Eli Manning will move closer to overtaking his brother for the lead among active players in highest single-season interception total. Eli, who comes into this game with 25, needs three to tie Peyton‘s mark from 1998, four to pass it. And there are only two games to go. Should be interesting to watch. (Not the game, mind you. Just the pick total.) Detroit by 12.
Oakland (+10) at San Diego
The Chargers aren’t going to qualify for the post-season (they need too much help). But they’re going to go down fighting. San Diego by 14.
Pittsburgh (off) at Green Bay
Now that we know Aaron Rodgers isn’t playing, it won’t be long before there’s a line set on this game. But I’m not waiting for it. Packers by a field goal.
New England (+2.5) at Baltimore
As the injuries have piled up for the Patriots this season, the question has been, when does it all become too much? I think we got the answer last weekend. I suspect we’ll hear more of the same on Sunday afternoon. The Pats will still win the AFC East, and maybe they’ll somehow manage to hold onto their first round bye, but they’ll have to do it all with a win over Buffalo in week 17. Ravens by four.
Chicago (+3) at Philadelphia
With just 222 passing yards in this game (or, really, the next two), Jay Cutler will overtake Sid Luckman as the Bears’ all-time leading passer. That’s a mark that has stood since 1950. So it’s not a minor accomplishment. And, you know, it’ll give Cutler something to feel good about after the Bears season ends next weekend. Philadelphia by a touchdown.
Atlanta (+12.5) at San Francisco
Um, yeah. Niners by 20.
